With time it will come

Why must patience be the inevitable virtue that we endlessly encounter? I can recall a car ride with my mom when I was 16, we were picking out a pair of reading glasses. I was so anxious to take the new lenses home with me that day, however I had to wait. My mother matronly consoled me with a conversation on patience. Perhaps the infamous cliche of a quote was also used, 'good things come to those who wait'. I waited and eventually I got my new glasses. With time, I gradually stopped using the frames...and I couldn't tell you where they are today.

The above paragraph sums things up for me (us) perfectly. We all want everything, NOW. We are a society fed off of high-speed communication, steered by instant gratification and driven by materials...Why was it so neccessary for me to obtain a pair of glasses that I no longer even care about? Let me put it into retrospective for you.

I spent so much time slaving away on a cardio machine that I began to lose a connection with the real world. When I say 'real' I mean people who aren't obsessed with petty competitions, people who don't waste time and money on such a insignificant event. There are so many amazing talents that I have, that I let go of...so that I MIGHT win. Even if I did 'win', was it worth it? The average contest prep is outrageously expensive, allow me to break it down for you:
Trainer: $1500-$2000
Shoes: $65
Suit: $300-$500
Obnoxious Tan: $90
Jewelry:$40
Entry Fees: $100
Registry Card: $100
Hotel: $150 per night
Flight: $350
And that is for ONE competition. Looking back now, sometimes I want to vomit at the money I wasted. Although, I did make money doing photoshoots which often times paid for my hotel or flight.

Let's redirect our focus back to patience. I began my offseason with 5 one-hour sessions of cardio a week. That is far too much for an offseason. With time, I inevitably gained weight...so naturally, I increased cardio. I was at one point, doing 1:45 minutes of cardio a day 5 days a week.......IN MY OFF SEASON! Now that is plain ridiculous. Despite that amount of cardio, I continued to gain weight. Eventually, my weight plateaued. It took about 5 full months for my weight to 'max out'. In October, November and December I took off from cardio-just not completely. Mentally I could not handle the idea of not doing cardio when I saw myself getting bigger by the day. How big you ask? :) (Of course you want to know, I just won't specifically disclose that information.) I gained 24lbs (34 if you count from being completely dehydrated)which may not sound like much...but for the effort I put forth I should be about 15lbs lighter right now.

It has now been 9 full months of living and eating like a real human being. I began leisurely running 4-5x a week recently and can already tell my thighs have slimmed down. I am continuing to lift heavy 4-5x a week and I know.....that with time-it will come. :)

Then and Now

I devoted 2.5 years to competing, or shall I say...starving, neglecting friendships and avoiding social functions. No...I don't want to give a negative perspective on the topic, rather a neutral point of view. There were pros and there were cons to training and dieting at such an intense level. I was able to accomplish what most could never even begin to fathom. I made sacrifices that I did not know I was capable of. In the end, I feel it made me a stronger, more disciplined person with a healthy dose of self-worth and esteem. Of course, I did miss a lot of weddings, baby showers and other food-related events, simply because I couldn't handle the temptation. All of that work and the little I have to show for it is a couple of dust-coated trophies and some pictures of what I once looked like.

It began in March 2007, 13 weeks from my first competition. I was not aware of WHAT I was signing up for. I knew that I had to follow the exact diet that was written out on a piece of paper. If I didn't follow it- it meant I would lose...and I don't like to lose! Eventually I realized that Figure was an extremely subjective and sometimes political 'sport'. You could train your heart out, diet like you had OCD and you still may not win just because your lipstick didn't suit your hair color well. Yeah, it is true. Nevertheless, the thought of winning is what kept me strapped onto a treadmill for 3-4 hours a day. (Might I add, I never won).

My first dieting experience was torturous yet the easiest of my 7 competition preparations. I had NEVER dieted like that before. Sometimes I cried because I was so hungry. (Keep in mind your emotions and hormones are on a rollcoaster during competition mode. I didn't know what to expect but in the end, I appreciated every moment. Life became so surreal the moment that my heels hit that stage. The lights were blinding, I couldn't see anyone but the judges. From the outside you would only see my horrible posing but from the inside, I was quivering.

I could easily create an entire blog about competing however that is not the purpose of this blog. I want my focus to be on finding the middle ground by maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle. Undoubtedly, my body went (and still is going) through a rebound period from the years of extreme dieting and excessive cardiovascular exercise. It has been 9 months since I last competed and I feel as if I am finally on the uphill.

Malnutrition effects your body inside and out. My hair would fall out in bulk, I had inevitable mood swings and there was the obvious weight gain. The most frustrating part is that there was nothing that I could do to seize these things. I rested, increased my calories and slowly became healthier. During this time I visited a diet doctor and an endocrinologist. Both were ridiculous. My blood work turned out perfectly, far above average. Therefore, the doctors had no other suggestion but to prescribe me phentermine and perhaps I try weight watchers....really?

I told myself there were far more important things I could put my energy into. I researched, talked with elite trainers and eventually the puzzle pieces fit. It was as simple as 'time'. With time, it will come.

*Photos from first and last competitions.

Brand New Blurb

As much as I enjoy both writing and researching, I felt now was the perfect opportunity to begin a blog. On this site I would like to educate you about health and fitness, update you on my own progression, and give helpful tips along the way. However, I am not a professional, simply a fitness-enthusiast. Let me begin my summarizing the past events that had led me to where I am today.

As a child I had struggled with weight gain, a result of my parents divorce. It was my 8th grade year that I decided I was fed up with feeling unattractive and disappointed in myself. Disposing of sugary sodas in my diet was the first sacrifice I made. Soon after, I began jogging 2 miles a day. I did this for an entire summer and alas, by my freshman year of highschool I had dropped nearly 20lbs. It felt amazing.

Although, I didn't stop there. Along with soccer, I continued running, aerobic activity, and slowly began changing my diet. I must add, being 15 years old 8 years ago meant there was not a lot of information out there about proper nutrition. I began educating myself. Looking back now, I can see a lot of the mistakes that I made; eating frozen overly- processed 'healthy' meals, having only a white bagel for lunch, and drinking lots of fruit juices.

I was able to maintain the weight loss through highschool and by my sophomore year in college, I hired a personal trainer for the first time. I saved up my money so that I could afford this trainer and put my whole heart into lifting and cardiovascular exercise. I learned about diet; choosing whole grains v.s. simple starches, eating fresh fruit as opposed to fruit juices, and consuming more protein. I had finally made a considerable difference in my lifestyle, unfortunately, weight loss can easily be addictive.

How could I not be satisified with what I had accomplished? I had slowly transformed by body in a reasonable and safe amount of time, yet I wanted more. I wanted a 6-pac. I wanted a curvy-more-than-toned-musculature. That is when I was introduced into figure. Figure is a category in the bodybuilding industry where you are judged based on symmetry, body composition, overall conditioning and aesthetic. Basically, a beauty pageant with muscles. At the time, I had no idea of the discipline and mental strength it took to compete in such a thing. However, I was willing to try...TO BE CONTINUED!

*photo taken before ever competing