I devoted 2.5 years to competing, or shall I say...starving, neglecting friendships and avoiding social functions. No...I don't want to give a negative perspective on the topic, rather a neutral point of view. There were pros and there were cons to training and dieting at such an intense level. I was able to accomplish what most could never even begin to fathom. I made sacrifices that I did not know I was capable of. In the end, I feel it made me a stronger, more disciplined person with a healthy dose of self-worth and esteem. Of course, I did miss a lot of weddings, baby showers and other food-related events, simply because I couldn't handle the temptation. All of that work and the little I have to show for it is a couple of dust-coated trophies and some pictures of what I once looked like.
It began in March 2007, 13 weeks from my first competition. I was not aware of WHAT I was signing up for. I knew that I had to follow the exact diet that was written out on a piece of paper. If I didn't follow it- it meant I would lose...and I don't like to lose! Eventually I realized that Figure was an extremely subjective and sometimes political 'sport'. You could train your heart out, diet like you had OCD and you still may not win just because your lipstick didn't suit your hair color well. Yeah, it is true. Nevertheless, the thought of winning is what kept me strapped onto a treadmill for 3-4 hours a day. (Might I add, I never won).
My first dieting experience was torturous yet the easiest of my 7 competition preparations. I had NEVER dieted like that before. Sometimes I cried because I was so hungry. (Keep in mind your emotions and hormones are on a rollcoaster during competition mode. I didn't know what to expect but in the end, I appreciated every moment. Life became so surreal the moment that my heels hit that stage. The lights were blinding, I couldn't see anyone but the judges. From the outside you would only see my horrible posing but from the inside, I was quivering.
I could easily create an entire blog about competing however that is not the purpose of this blog. I want my focus to be on finding the middle ground by maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle. Undoubtedly, my body went (and still is going) through a rebound period from the years of extreme dieting and excessive cardiovascular exercise. It has been 9 months since I last competed and I feel as if I am finally on the uphill.
Malnutrition effects your body inside and out. My hair would fall out in bulk, I had inevitable mood swings and there was the obvious weight gain. The most frustrating part is that there was nothing that I could do to seize these things. I rested, increased my calories and slowly became healthier. During this time I visited a diet doctor and an endocrinologist. Both were ridiculous. My blood work turned out perfectly, far above average. Therefore, the doctors had no other suggestion but to prescribe me phentermine and perhaps I try weight watchers....really?
I told myself there were far more important things I could put my energy into. I researched, talked with elite trainers and eventually the puzzle pieces fit. It was as simple as 'time'. With time, it will come.
*Photos from first and last competitions.
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