Like most children, I dreamt of how my life would unfold. At the time, it went something like this; I would graciously mature into a beautiful teenager that all the boys would swoon over. Later, I would attend college and get a degree that mimicked my creative personality. Soon after college I would find the most suitable and rewarding job available for my degree. Then, a strapping gentleman with a moderatly-wealthy wallet would fall madly in love with me, propose to me in the most elaborate way possible and eventually marry me. The wedding, of course, was planned down to every dramatic detail. After a couple of years of pawing at eachother, we would start a family that consisted of two children; the eldest a boy, the second-a girl. Everything after that somehow became irrelevant....
Obviously, this is not how my life unfolded. Highschool consisted of dating mistakes and in college it seemed I dated absolute failures. My degree is useless, especially in Oklahoma and my job is quite honestly- irrelevant to my education. The man I am supposed to marry? Well...I'm still working on that part. ;)
The truth is simply this; we all make choices that we must live with. I have lost many battles and I have won a few rounds too. I don't hate the place I am in right now but of course I strive for more. Could I have made better grades? Certainly. Would I have skipped out on some of those not-so-good lessons? Definately. But at the end of the day I know that I can say I always try my hardest.
I am still young and I am still broke. I live with the means that I have, I'd graciously accept cash if you handed it to me, and I work hard to get by. Will I ever have the house I dreamt of with the family I deem as perfect? Perhaps. Will I ever be anything more than a retail manager, Sweet Jesus I hope so!
I know that money does not make who you are. You cannot buy happiness although it is easier to be happy when you aren't concerned about how you'll pay for rent. I don't need to be a millionaire or gangster wealthy, I just want to buy groceries and not have to think of where I need to cut back in order to do so. I want to be able to drive from Mustang to Edmond and not worry that I'll run out of gas for the week.
Life has a lot of footnotes and fine print. There are things like student loans, health insurance, 401k's, and IRA's. Forever, I will be learning about these. In the mean time, I have a BA-jillion things to be proud of. A part of growing up is not only taking on bigger responsibilities but it is about learning who you are and what makes you happy.
This isn't the fairytale I thought it would be- it is better. I've recognized something as simple as a good, warm shower can cure any ailments. I have someone to call whether I need to smile or need to cry. I don't know where I will be tomorrow or a year away. However, I know the people that I WANT in my life, the people who make my world amazing, the people whom I love indefinately.
I don't think there's such thing as a "not so good lesson". It's a lesson, you learned something and thus it's good. If it were just an experience, but you hadn't learned anything, it would be "not so good".
ReplyDeleteAnyway, being young and poor isn't so bad, I've found. People don't expect elaborate gifts from you, people are more genuine when you're poor. Not that I wouldn't mind it if someone handed me money. I do like workin hard for my money though, ya know?